Ride or Die, Bitches
Well I'm finally back in Philly for a little bit and, although I am THRILLED to be here, I have to say it was a little hard to leave after such a fun and eventful week. Block Island was teeming with drama and excitement and I was right in the middle of it all.
It all started Sunday night. After a lengthy dinner with the Laphams, Sandro and I headed into town to meet people at Kitten's for Reggae Night. Red Stripes in hand, Natalie and I hit the dance floor with our friends Magda and Sushi Bob. Though Nat and I were not sober, we were clearly the responsible ones in the group. Magda was especially out of hand. Though she's usually a pretty good girl, Sunday night she was out of her mind- even openly making out with some guy on the dance floor. This would be fine if she didn't have a boyfriend waiting for her back in Poland or if she atleast realized what she was doing.
Unfortuantely, her actions finally set in at last call as she stood outside the bar crying to me and Natalie. She was clearly upset, so Natalie and I tried to convince her to go home, but she was completetely determined to go to Mansion for a late-night beach party. Suddenly over her recent mistake, Magda went skipping down the street and climbed through the window of someone's car, joining the other Poles. I, however, was working breakfast the next day, so I reluctantly opted out of the late-night.
Feeling rather responsible, I got in my car and headed back to the house. Unfortunately, however, I quickly hit a delay as I passed by a car accident on the side of the road. Things looked fine, but I was somewhat worried since one of the cars looked a lot like my friend Monique's. I tried calling her but she didn't answer. Eventually I gave up and went to bed figuring that,even if it was her, she was proabbly ok since the accident appeared fairly small.
The next morning I had completely forgotten about the accident. Bright and early I drove back into town to start the breakfast shift. But when I got there we were a waitress short- Monique was missing. I frantically called her cell phone several times but got no answer. I started getting nervous. "There was an accident last night", I told my friend Morgan. "And I think Monique might have been in it." But Morgan shook his head and lowered his voice. "Don't say anything", he whispered. "But It was Magda in that car. She chipped her tooth pretty badly and is at the medical center right now".
Well I felt terrible knowing we let her go off, but I was relieved that she wasnt too badly hurt and things would be ok. We finally gave up on Monique showing, who it turns out WAS the other car in the accident, though she came out unscathed, and struggled to get through the breakfast rush with just four waitresses. Things were just starting to settled down when the cops arrived. " Are you the manager? " one asked me. I nervously replied yes as they began to tell me about an accident involving some of my employees. It turns out that the "small" accident I thought I saw wasn't as benign as it seemed. Not only were several people in the car pretty banged up, but the car they drove was in fact stolen.
The cops explained the situation to me in full and then informed me that I was to keep an eye on my female employees to look for any who might have some noticable injuries. The driver was never identified since she split right after the crash, and the police were still searching for her. After talking to me, the two cops sat down with Magda and had a lengthy discussion with her to try and figure out some details. I haven't heard too much about it since, but as far as I know they haven't made much progress in their investigation.
After the drama of Sunday, we all laid low Monday night. Furthermore, Tuesday night was the long awaited Battle of the Air Bands at Nick's which we were all very excited about and therefore wanted to be well-rested for. I never intended on participating in the competition, but my friend Colleen eventually convinced me to be the "drummer" in Dirty Silk Panties, the band she had formed with several other girls from the grill. Our friend and coworker Gigi had dropped out for what she claims were "back problems" but we suspect was actually embarassment over the fact that they were one of only two bands who signed up for the event.
So, after a delicious dinner at Eli's for Sara's birthday, I bolted over to Nick's to prep with the other band members- Colleen, Allie, Sarah T, and Natalie. Dressed in black tanks and copius glitter, we began a series of shots to loosen up for our big performance. After two Minderasers and three Dirty Silk Panties (a nasty, nasty, shot. Please see previous posting where I swore I would never consume one again) we were ready to go. Liquored Livers, a send-up on a popular local band and our competition for the evening, went first. They were good but there energy was a little lacking. DSP, however, as we've come to call ourselves, killed it if I do say so myself. The five of us went nuts and so did the audience. We played some Journey, a little Aerosmith, and topped it off with Shoop, by Salt N Pepa. The next day Colleen's fingers wer ripped apart from the guitar, Sarah had rug burn on her knees from dropping to the floor, and I still had glitter all over my face. But it was all worth it since we not only won the battle but were asked to come back and play for an entire night. I never thought I would be a musical success, but I have always said that if it weren't for my horrendous voice I'd be a great singer. Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy when I tell them this, but I think my theory finally makes sense.
I was clearly feeling pretty good the next day (well, aside from my massive headache) as I strolled into the Grill to pick up my tips. That is, until I found out who had been there earlier. On the one day this week I worked dinner, guess who comes into the Grill-- Billy Joel. Billy Fucking Joel. He came in with his super young wife and I wasn't there. I could have talked to him, sat him at his table, told him about Dirty Silk Panties and been invited to join him on his next tour. Then he would fall in love with me, and I would become his new innapropriately young wife, and we would live happily ever after in his mansion on Long Island.
This is clearly how events would have unfolded.
But, no. I was at home. No one called me and I missed my big chance. Fucking balls, man.
And now I find out my fav comedian Aaron Karo is going to the island soon, and I may miss him too. If I didn't have the possibility of future fame and fortune with my up-and-coming airband, I would be quite upset right now. Luckily, Dirty Silk Panties is gonna hit it big and this will all soon be forgotten.
Ride or Die, Bitches!
posted by Jane @ 9:13:00 AM
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