25 years of Excellence, One Night of Ridiculousness

Well the Twenty Fifth Birthday Extravaganza has come and gone, and I'm unsure of whether I want to relive Saturday every night for the rest of my life or if I want to forget all about it and never look back again. It was that kind of night.

Because the evening was way too chaotic to assemble into a chronological account, I'll just provide a summary of some of my favorite moments:

1. Bringing Sexy Back...Again and again: Freddie and I have been obsessed with JT's latest masterpiece and were thrilled to find out that everyone else at the party was equally in love. Luckily Liz brought the CD and put it on repeat in both the apartment and the limo. Then, every DJ at every bar we went to played it as well. I would guess that the song was played and danced (hard) to at least a dozen times throughout the night.

2. "I'm TWENTY FIVE!": After a mojito and several bottles of champagne, Emily became very enthusiastic about getting a year older. Mimicking Molly Shannon from one of her popular SNL skits-- who shows off her new boyfriend and boasts about being 50 on talk shows--Emily repeatedly kicked her leg up as high as she could while screaming "Im TENTY FIVE!" at every bar we entered. The bouncers weren't too amused, but I sure as hell loved it. It even inspired me to start a dance with Emily at McFaddens where we repeatedly kicked our legs up in the air to the beat can-can style. It was a huge hit.

3. Little Dave: One of Emily's friends brought with him his roommate from freshman year of college. Little Dave, as we called him, was an extremely awkward individual with pale skin, glasses, and a rather short build. He had called Nops earlier last week to 'inform him he would be in Philadelphia for the weekend' and to ask him if he would "be available". This is how Little Dave talks. We actually debated whether or not he was retarded. We also suspected that he was completely being used by Nops to score chicks, by making him seem like a kind, sensitive guy for hanging out with someone so nerdy and weird. Incidentally, this may have worked.

4. Tony the Limo Driver: Poor Tony had no idea what he had coming. Afterall, he did think he was cheuffering a twenty fifth birthday party not the junior prom. However, he probably caught on pretty quickly that things would not be as he had expected. Within five minutes of his arrival we were already pressuring him into breaking the rules and allowing more people than the legal limit into the vehicle. Then we all made complete shit shows of ourselves during the ride, entering the bars, and returning to the limo. At one point, Emily tried to get him to drive us from McFadden's to Finnigan's, which are maybe a block apart from each other. Then there was the little secret encounter between two of the passengers while everyone else was in the bar. But worst of all, despite our promises to "take care of him", I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who passed him some cash- and that was five dollars.

5. The Fights: Now, normally, I hate fighting. I think its usually for totally unnecessary reasons, and it completely ruins the night. But when its done in the name of family, I'm all for it. Tensions were getting pretty high throughout the night: there was confusion over where to go, people were getting separated, and everyone was pretty drunk, a factor that never helps keep the peace. By the end of the night it seemed like everyone was yelling. But shit really hit the fan when Emily's friend Courtney started complaining about something while we were outside of Murphy's. Finally, in a last attempt to keep her sister happy, Liz blew up at Courtney. I believe her exact words were "Courtney, will you SHUT the FUCK UP!" To be honest, I think we were all thinking it and Liz, though dramatic, was entirely justified. Courtney, however, disagreed and began complaining to Emily about the way her sister had spoken to her. Clearly, she doesn't know how our family operates. We will lie, cheat, or steal for one another, but mostly, we will tell a bitch off. Which is exactly what Emily did. As soon as Courtney even tried to suggest that Liz had done something wrong, Emily flipped. "Don't you ever talk to my sister like that!" she screamed. More words ensued, and Courtney ended up crashing somewhere else for the night. Never have I been more proud to be related to those two girls.

6. Party Favors: At some point during the night, someone found a necklace and a pair of earrings. "Are these anybodies?" they asked. "Mine!" I screamed without even looking at them as I stuffed them into my bag. I found them the next morning and, though I don't particularly like them nor do I plan on ever wearing them, I'm really glad I got some goodies out of the night.

There were many, many more fun things about the night, and I had a ridiculously awesome time. To be fair, I would have a ridiculously awesome time just raking leaves or going to church with these girls, but nothing beats when we all get together for a night on the town. Its always trouble, and its always fun. Now all I can think about is Summer 2008 when we will all be partying together again at Emily's wedding- only this time with open bar. OHHHhhhhh NOOOoooo!