Never Say Never

They say you should "never say never". I'm not really sure who "they"are, but I'm pretty confident there's a handful of things I'm comfortable saying "never" about. Here's just a few:

- Never do I want to die a slow, painful death
- Never do I want to gain 150 lbs
- Never download snood during finals week
- Never do I want to suffer from food poisoning
- Never do I want to see my parents naked
- Never do I want to see my parents sick
- Never will I think dog shows are normal
- Never do I want to see George W elected again
- Never do I want to be too old to spin around in circles really fast
- Never take your friend Jamal to a St Patrick's Day parade in Alabama
- Never am I not happy its summertime
- Never will I understand why gay marriage is such a big f-ing problem
- Never do I want to take Roots of History again
- Never will Sean Paul not make me want to dance
- Never take laxatives before a long car ride
- Never do I think facial tattoos are ok
- Never watch Boogie Nights with your grandmom
-Never will the word "Uranus" not make me crack a smile
- Never do I want to see someone I love get hurt
- Never do I want to start studying for my damn history exam tomorrow