Cinco De Mayo

In honor of Cinco De Mayo, Cancun came to the Bronx yesterday, and the amount of debauchery that took place was unprecedented.

After being responsible and finishing my psych paper, I headed over to Fenwicks to meet up with Megan Sheehan. Meg started bartending at 9 am, still drunk from the night before, and was still drinking when I arrived at 4 o'clock. Needless to say, she was very, very drunk. Also needless to say, we told each other "I love you!" like 25 times. Here's a little description of meg's day in her own words:

meglet29: at one point i believe it was 930am, spyder and i switched clothes
meglet29: and i was completely hammered
meglet29: taking shots of jameson to the face for breakfast
meglet29: after that... i have no idea what happened to my life

Well, I can tell you a little, Meg. You danced on a table, kicked Boogie in the balls repeatedly, brought in the employees from RiverDeli, and eventually passed out in our friend Natasha's room.

But the worse part is, Meg wasn't even the worse one in the bar. When I got there, things were relatively calm: a few people were sitting at the table by the doors and a few were crowded around the bar. Everyone was drinking, but normal. Then a Tsunami of alcohol hit Fenwicks. The music took over and everyone went nuts. People were dancing all over the place, jumping on tables, picking up chairs, spraying beer- it was nuts. Ten minutes later, a huge game of flip cup was going, the seat of a chair had broken, and people were taking their pants off. It was Fenwicks Gone Wild.

Though I was pretty sober when this all began, after two Jaeger bombs later and a few rounds of flip cup I was pretty much caught up. Our friend "Natasha" came and joined us shortly after and, let me just say, you gotta love a girl who can dance on the table before even getting her first drink.

After a few hours, I had to go get my laundry and grab something to eat, but I eventually met up with Natasha and headed with her down to Tequila Bar, with beers stashed in our bags to slam in the bathrooms. Sleazy, I know, but we're REALLY poor! After the long walk (and an elaborate discussion about the intimate details of our sexual encounters), it was more than necessary to indulge in a round of margaritas. We had a great time and made a few friends, including an 8 year old boy who we danced with in the middle of all the diners, but after awhile decided to head over to the townhouses to crash the barbecue they were having.

Instead, however, we wound up running into Caroline and Ryan who dragged us with them to RiverCity Grill. This is probably when things started getting ugly and, unfortunately, I have pictures to remind myself. In case you haven't noticed the trend, we weren't really able to stay in one spot for too long, because of both intoxication and fear of being caught filling up our pint glasses with natty light.

Along with Dusty, we walked back to Fenwicks, and I made the big mistake of opening a tab. As my favorite comedian, Aaron Karo, has said before, opening tabs is an extremely risky decision. Once it happens, you immediately become the most generous person in the world. Luckily, the cops came and raided the bar, so I was kept from spending TOO TOO much money.

I wish I could describe more about what happened after, but this is where it gets hazy. I do know that we went to An Beal Bocht. I know I had Smithwicks. And I know, as I was told today, that we called my friend Chris, and Tasha told him that "her hips and her lips don't lie" while I just screamed in the background. Classy ladies we are.

So I guess the lesson of the story is Avoid my dear friend Natasha. She destroys lives. And that's why I love her!