What a Failure

I knew I shouldn't have jumped on this David Blaine bandwagon. I made fun of him all week, ignored all the hype, then at the last minute I find myself a little intrigued, and what happens? He fails. Miserably.

First off, lets just get one thing straight: This guy is psychotic. During this whole two hour special they kept talking about how, if something goes wrong, Blaine could end up with permanent brain damage. Well call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this guy is damaged as is. Not only does he talk like he's been "drowned alive", not showing any signs of a personality or soul in his speech, but no one who does the things he does could possibly be working properly up there. He traps himself in blocks of ice, stands on platforms the height of buildings, and he claims that pain is "just an obstacle that needs to be conquered". Well, no actually pain is a message to your brain that you're body is in trouble and something needs to be done to fix it. Common mistake, though.

Anyways, not surprisingly, they dragged this special on for two friggin hours before he even performs the stunt. I sat there like the susceptible moron I am biting my nails waiting to see what would happen. Finally, he goes under, but after 6 minutes he starts letting out air bubbles and they have to pull him out.

But I have to say, my favorite part was at the end when they announced that "I'm sure no one here nor anyone watching from home thinks David Blaine is a failure right now". Hmmm...did he hold his breath for 9 minutes like he said he would? No? Well, then I'm calling him what he is- a big magical failure.